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Trying to get loose ends togehter and fix my grades that i have been ignoring far to long, but i have’nt had any idea what i want to do. Its a nice excuse but not good enough so now i do what i can. In this moment though i dont want to do it, was so up for it but one of the teathers i need help from also the one i have to do the test for just makes me negative… I have to try to see the light in the tunel but its far far away right now. The other teather i have to give a rose to,  so nice and really positive. Sad that i wont be able to the test for his subject field this year and he will not be there next year, thats life , hope it comes a new one as good as that teatcher.

Other from that im wondering over life and its strange ways it leads you in, and why i didnt understand what was the best way when i was younger. Insteed i just did what i wanted there and then and took some really bad decisions that colored me in some ways. Not all colors comes from my decisions some of them just always been there, i am trying to paint over these bad colors now with some really nice ones. Many of them are gone but some times the new color get ripped of and the old one glance back at me, painting over again, and again so many times as needed. Sometimes it feels like i never will succed with this especially when people i hold close to me just disappear or not understand me. Maybe its me that dont understand them. Other days when i feel the sunlight warming my face i know it will be fine and i will have only light, happy colors around me one day, soon.

Better go back to the painting now its not a sunlight day today, so its a really good day to paint on.